


Memory file

by prettyhands



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Open Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:29:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24973129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyhands/pseuds/prettyhands
Summary: At times like this, Sakusa wanted to be a doll devoid of emotions as people said he was, with his automatic functions and lifeless hands. But Sakusa was human, and his first mistake was to love Atsumu.
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Memory file

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 4am instead of doing my online assignments don’t be harsh with me <3

Sakusa couldn’t recall how many times he had been called a machine. Not that he cared about that, in fact, the spiker considered it great satire, just like the ones that were included in the newspaper that his father read in the mornings. It was difficult to contain laughter whenever others tried to offend him by his apparent apathy in the midst of insults and venomous provocations (in those moments he was grateful for his mask, anyone would see the laughter as mockery of his part). The great contradiction that made Sakusa lose his composure was not known to anyone but himself, so explaining the laughter to whoever was talking was unnecessary work.

In spite of everything, being called a machine brought some peace to the boy. It was as if, for a measly second, all his feelings were canceled out. Perhaps that was the reason why he repeated the words like a mantra when he was close to Atsumu, a habit he had created without realizing it.

Miya Atsumu, the blonde in question, was the reason for his problems. With his pretentious smiles, he had made his ways so vehemently and at the same time subtle (since when the brunette realized, it was too late) inside the walls he had created inside himself. The “number one Ace” mask he wore with his petty and self-centered attitude, a defense mechanism he had perfected over time, had been completely torn off by Miya's strong and unshakable personality. His mere presence made Sakusa's stomach fill with butterflies.

For the setter, the brunette was nothing more than another spiker to get hit sets. No, Atsumu saw Sakusa as nothing more than another high school player who happened to exist in the area. He did not see the boy as an automated doll with an aversion to germs like the others speculated from time to time. This was one of the reasons why Sakusa fell in love in the first place. Even though Atsumu didn't care about him, it was comforting to know that someone at least didn't see him just as a program.

Sakusa knew that his feelings were starting to disrupt the team's performance. Believe it, he knew that very well. Since his debut in the Black Jackals, he has had the misfortune to have the feelings he had suppressed since the end of high school brought up again and he felt sick.

It was horrible to feel his stomach flip like a passionate teenager when hitting a set from the boy, watching the defined muscles - much more defined than when they were still studying - while Atsumu was not looking.

At times like this, Sakusa wanted to be a doll devoid of emotions as people said he was, with his automatic functions and lifeless hands. Maybe that way he could just go into his settings to erase the file of memories that nurtured the nuisance that was his feelings for the setter.

Sakusa was not a perfect android as people said. He had no easily accessible settings for updating his system to gain a brand new version of himself. He loved it too much for someone seen as a hardened machine. Sakusa was human, and his first mistake was to love Atsumu.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna thank my gf for reviewing this before I posted because it was embarrassing ngl  
> I hope I was able to make someone cry here :^)
> 
> Scream about sakuatsu with me on twitter PLEASE  
> twitter: @KIYOOMLL


End file.
